I have never been let go from a job in my life, until now. I had found a great role that allowed me to work from home, take care of my dogs, and enjoy connecting with co-workers and teammates from all over the country. Also, I didn’t have to wear a bra, which on its own merit was pretty magnificent.
At the end of October, I was invited to a ZOOM meeting with my boss and I already had a feeling this was going to be the end for my position. The department was being left in limbo on many issues that we had brought up and that just didn’t bode well in my gut.
Nevertheless, I popped onto that ZOOM and I knew immediately that my instincts were correct as our Human Resources Manager was also present. Despite expecting this to happen, it was still a piercing stab into my heart. I enjoyed my work and those whom I interacted with daily. I provided the health benefits in my marriage. I had just purchased a new vehicle and now had car payments. (First world problems, right?)
Admittedly, the company was very gracious with a severance package. Not a massive one, but it was more than nothing—and they certainly were not required to give anything. I figured with some savvy budgeting I could stretch the funds to the end of the year if needed while I figured out my next step.
But back to that ZOOM meeting… it was awkward to say the least. I actually felt bad for my boss, as I am certain this was not something enjoyable and I was just the first of many of these meetings she was going to have to do that day.
She read from a script to inform me of all of the legalities, etc. I have to admit, I wasn’t fully listening, as I was madly working to share the Google documents that I created in anticipation of this happening to ensure that the customers that I was working with would be taken care of in my absence.
I thanked them all for the opportunities that I had been given. I tried my best to be gracious in my defeat. And that’s the thing—being gracious when we are at our lowest moment in our lives is not easy, but it’s definitely the right thing to do.
I mustered up all the energy I could to do that. I believe how we act when we are faced with adversity says a lot about us. I did not want to be remembered as someone who lashed out, cast blame, cried foul, or anything negative for that matter. That is not who I am, so there was no way I was going to behave any differently than who I am at my very core.
I’m not saying that was easy. It sure wasn’t. I wanted to cry and ask “Why me?” The reality is, “Why NOT me?”
If God leads you to it, He can get you through it.
Accepting it wasn’t easy and I still occasionally think about it with pangs of grief. Choosing to find the good in a bad situation is the best option for your mental state, so that is exactly what I did.
I viewed this turn of events as an opportunity to reinvent myself (again). Perhaps that was what God had planned? Sometimes when we don’t take the cues that He has laid out before us—He starts to nudge a little harder to get us to take the necessary steps.
So, here I am walking a path of uncertainty. But at least I know I’m not walking it alone.
Do I have it all figured out yet? Heck no. And I don’t think I ever will for that matter. But I’m taking steps to dig deep to discover what I really want. I’m spending a lot of time having conversations with God about what my purpose here in life is supposed to be.
(Side note, if you’ve never read “The Purpose Driven Life,” by Rick Warren, I highly recommend it!)
I will say that I’ve had a lot of fun over my years in this life, but I’ve never really thought about my purpose much until recently. I felt called to take a 3-year course on Spiritual Direction quite a while ago. That was definitely the spark that got me thinking more about my purpose here on earth. I’ll finish that program in about seven months and I can easily say that I have experienced more growth spiritually, mentally, and emotionally in these last few years because of it.
What is next? I’m still working on it. But that’s the thing—I’m working on it. So many of us, myself included, have wasted years dreaming about things we want to do but have never actually taken a step toward doing those things.
I’m here to tell you: Don’t wait another moment. Take the step. Do the thing.
Our time here is short and we all have a God-given purpose to fulfill. Don’t waste your talents. Live this one wild life you’ve been given to the fullest.